


Who Talks First

by safetypin



Series: Star High Chats [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Barry Please Go To Bed, F/F, F/M, Gen, Group chat, Harrison Wells is a Jerk, M/M, Nerdy References, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-05 17:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13392843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safetypin/pseuds/safetypin
Summary: High school is hard; it's always nice to have a group of friends to turn to and talk with.A group chat story.





	1. The Year Begins

**Author's Note:**

> So I mostly just turned conversations betweens my friends and I into a gc fic, but there's some plot in here too.
> 
>  
> 
> Barry Allen: Fastest kid on the track team; junior; dates Ollie
> 
> Cisco Ramon: Robotics; junior; pan trans guy
> 
> Caitlin Snow: Bio nerd; junior; longterm sweethearts with Ronnie Raymond
> 
> Iris West: School newspaper reporter; junior; will date Eddie Thawne
> 
> Oliver Queen: Varsity football captain; senior; totally head over heels for Barry
> 
> John Diggle: Varsity football QB; senior
> 
> Sara Lance: Girls soccer captain; senior; will date Linda Park
> 
> Felicity Smoak: Theater/tech; senior; straight trans girl

_[Felicity Smoak has added Barry Allen, Oliver Queen, Iris West, Sara Lance, Cisco Ramon, Diggle, and Caitlin Snow to the group]_

**Felicity:** Welcome to Hell, kiddos

 **Cisco:** That is true

 **Iris:** Your face is true

 **Sara:** OML

 **Felicity:** Worst comeback ever

 **Iris:** Ew no God  
**Iris:** Your lord had better be some random nobility you kidnapped  
**Iris:** Not God  
**Iris:** Now I wanna kidnap nobility

 **Cisco:** Me too!

 **Iris:** And get a good ransom

 **Sara:** What no I am a Good Catholic™

 **Cisco:** I need money and nobility is evil 

**Caitlin:** IN FICTION 

**Cisco:** And nonfiction 

**Caitlin:** These days they’re usually just some “well respected” rich white people that aren’t actually powerful 

**Cisco:** Dang 

**Iris:** Buzzkill 

**Dig:** What the fuck did I just join… 

*******

**Iris:** Hey does anyone have third lunch this semester? 

**Caitlin:** I do! 

**Iris:** Oh thank god 

**Caitlin:** Ronnie said he and his friend Eddie do too 

**Iris:** Who’s Eddie? 

**Caitlin:** Apparently he just transferred from Keystone for junior and senior years 

**Iris:** Have you met him 

**Caitlin:** No but Ronnie’s known him since middle school. He’s supposed to be really nice 

**Iris:** Have you seen a pic?? Is he cute?? 

**Caitlin:** I don’t know. We’ll just have to.. See! 

**Iris:** That was just bad 

**Caitlin:** :) 

*******

**Sara:** This kid on the class call said “Apartment buildings are so gross i’d rather live in a real house” what a classist 

**Caitlin:** Yeah that is 

**Iris:** I kinda want to live somewhere without human contact 

**Sara:** Be a hermit? 

**Iris:** Yeah that 

**Sara:** Same tho 

**Felicity:** That sounds nice let’s do that 

**Cisco:** Hermits United.  
**Cisco:** We meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves.  
**Cisco:** It’s good fun.  
**Cisco:** For a hermit. 

**Barry:** I get that reference 

**Cisco:** Good   
**Cisco:** I’d have to disown you if you didn’t 

**Felicity:** A good reason for disownment 

**Barry:** I can’t very well claim Doctor Who is my favorite if I don’t understand the quotes  
**Barry:** Unless it’s Classic Who 

**Cisco:** You’ve never lived until you’ve seen a grown man wriggle around covered in green painted bubble wrap 

**Barry:** I think we’ve discussed that one 

**Felicity:** Yeah 

**Cisco:** Honestly who knows at this point 

*******

**Iris:** Is an asshat a hat for your ass or a hat made out of an ass? 

**Cisco:** Is it a butt ass or a donkey ass? 

**Iris:** Would either of those even make a good hat tho 

**Sara:** Christ not now 

**Cisco:** It’s a hat made of asses  
**Cisco:** And it’s very fashionable 

**Iris:** Donkeys or butts 

**Caitlin:** They come in both  
**Caitlin:** And are very expensive 

**Felicity:** Iris you should invent a hat for asses I’m sure people would buy it 

**Dig:** Pants 

**Iris:** Yeah 

**Felicity:** No that’s a shirt for asses 

**Barry:** I think there are probably other hat like things people put on their butts at various times 

**Dig:** Underwear 

**Felicity:** That’s a bra for asses 

**Dig:** No 

**Iris:** Bustle 

**Dig:** Iris’ got it! She’s right 

**Felicity:** That works better  
**Felicity:** So as you can see we still need a hat for asses 

**Oliver:** Unpopular opinion: underwear is actually a mask for your ass 

**Iris:** Someone draw this  
**Iris:** An ass going to a masquerade 

**Barry:** Imma do it 

**Sara:** Send a pic when done 

**Barry:** [.jpeg] 

*******

**Caitlin:** I have a ridiculous amount of photos of blood 

**Barry:** Why 

**Caitlin:** Aesthetics 

**Barry:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX3Gw82f6GU My Chemical Romance - Blood (Official Video) 

**Oliver:** Why’s my boyfriend so emo 

*******

**Cisco:** Does anyone else have Wells for math??  
**Cisco:** I think he’s plotting my demise 

**Caitlin:** Yeah he’s not the nicest is he 

**Cisco:** He keeps making ugly homophobic remarks to one kid in particular?  
**Cisco:** I really hate him 

**Iris:** He’s homophobic?? I’m gonna fight him 

**Barry:** Yeah he’s always putting so much pressure on me I hate it 

**Iris:** Imma fight him 

*******

**Sara** : I’ve got two books by Oscar Wilde and I’m feeling peak gay 

**Dig:** Who’s that 

**Oliver:** I know I should know this by now 

**Barry:** You’ve mentioned him before 

**Sara:** Learn your fucking gay icons people 

*****  
**

****

**Barry:** I’m d...yyyy...inggg 

**Dig:** This chat is a mess 

**Cisco:** Why are you dying  
**Cisco:** Dramatically at that 

**Iris:** Very dramatic 

**Oliver:** Slow deaths are always dramatic  
**Oliver:** And drawn out 

**Barry:** I’m on a call again and I’m so tired of it  
**Barry:** I finally left 

**Iris:** Good 

**Sara:** That’s good 

**Barry:** My friend faked a power outage to escape it 

**Cisco:** Wooooooow 

**Oliver:** Woah 

**Sara:** That’s some pro level avoiding’ people  
**Sara:** Like Oliver level shit 

**Oliver:** Hey fuck you 

**Sara:** Been there done that 

**Barry:** I faked “on the phone with someone” until they all dropped like flies 

**Iris:** Nicely done 

**Barry:** Gee thanks 

*******

**Oliver:** I don’t want to be a king too much pressure and responsibility and people 

**Sara:** Ok peasant 

**Iris:** Be a dictator. Then no one can argue with you 

**Oliver:** Still to many people and too much responsibility 

**Sara:** Then be God 

**Barry:** I’ll worship you ;) 

*******

**Barry:** {GIF of Travis Barker, Mark Hoppus, and Tom DeLonge running naked down a street from Blink-182’s official What’s My Age Again? music video. Sent at 12:03 am} 

**Dig:** There I was, watching a calming, peaceful video of Gustavo Dudamel conduct Antonin Dvorak’s 9th symphony, and then these naked men running down a street appear at the top of my screen 

**Barry:** WHOO  
**Barry:** NAKED MEN YAY 

**Caitlin:** Dig why  
**Caitlin:** Look what you’ve done  
**Caitlin:** Barry’s supposed to be asleep! 

**Barry:** This is so much more entertaining tho 

**Caitlin:** GO TO BED 

**Dig:** -_- 

**Barry:** But Dig makes me want to talk about naked men 

**Dig:** I’ve now lost all hope for humanity 

**Sara:** What a journey 

**Barry:** I’m surprised it took you so long 

**Caitlin:** I threw my fuckin phone 

**Barry:** Why 

**Caitlin:** YOU 

**Dig:** How about: who wants to hit Barry on the head with a sizeable rock so you go to bed 

**Barry:** … oh  
**Barry:** That could cause serious brain damage 

**Sara:** Dig has the right idea here  
**Sara:** Just do it gently 

**Barry:** Again: SERIOUS BRAIN DAMAGE  
**Barry:** NO thank you 

**Dig:** It’s not like anyone will notice 

**Sara:** Dig YOU ARE BRUTAL TONIGHT 

**Caitlin:** Bar don’t worry you won’t be hit by any large rocks 

**Barry:** I don’t trust Dig  
**Barry:** At all 

**Dig:** It’s not like I would be able to get to you easily  
**Dig:** We don’t share classes or lunch 

**Barry:** You could hire someone 

**Sara:** Hire me 

**Barry:** WHY does everyone want to hit me with a rock  
**Barry:** WTF guys 

**Sara:** Don’t flatter yourself it’s not exclusively you. I just think hitting someone with a rock might be fun. Cathartic even.  
**Sara:** And you really should go to sleep 

**Barry:** I do need to sleep  
**Barry:** Hit anyone other than me with a rock  
**Barry:** Actually there are a few people I don’t want you to hit  
**Barry:** Like the Obamas 

**Sara:** How about just The Orange 

**Barry:** That’s good 

**Caitlin:** Lets just all go to bed now  
**Caitlin:** Night night 

**Barry:** Don’t let the Trump supporters bite 


	2. It Goes On and On and On and On...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dig is a music snob, Barry is kind of an idiot, and Cisco is trying not be a bleeding heart. Sara is, as always, a badass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friends can't stop laughing about how I'm using their words for this... but I'm still not giving them a link!

**Barry:** {image shown: Gif of Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, Lando Calrissian, General Tarkin, and Darth Vader}  
Barry: Who do you think is who (From this chat)

 **Felicity:** Hm

 **Barry:** I’d like say I’m Han but idk

 **Cisco:** A damsel in distress?

 **Barry:** I am both of those

 **Cisco:** Then you’re Ham

 **Felicity:** LOL  
**Felicity:** I’m the wall behind them all

 **Dig:** What am I?

 **Cisco:** Lando 

**Dig:** That better be because I save all your asses

 **Cisco:** It is I swear

 **Caitlin:** I’m Leia

 **Felicity:** But you strike me as such a Vader

 **Sara:** Nah bitch I’m Vader

 **Felicity:** But Caitlin wears all black and nothing else

 **Sara:** No  
**Sara:** I am Dramatic Dad™

 **Felicity:** Oh true

 **Barry:** Sara is right

 **Caitlin:** It seems like Sara is always right

 **Cisco:** That’s also true

***

 **Cisco:** Woah  
**Cisco:** I’m looking through my backup and finding some really creepy stuff I had on my computer  
**Cisco:** My last backups were made last year and I have some things titled “Goodbye” and some fucking creepy screenshots  
**Cisco:** {Image of list reading  
“The quit is real  
“See Barry? Science  
“I built a wind… fuck  
“Yeah I built a wind fuck”}

***

 **Cisco:** Guys I have a problem

 **Iris:** What’s up?

 **Cisco:** Remember that guy I told you Wells was being homophobic to?  
**Cisco:** Wells outed him to his parents  
**Cisco:** And they kicked him out  
**Cisco:** He’s an asshole but Hartley doesn’t deserve this

 **Felicity:** Hartley as in Rathaway??  
**Felicity:** The Mr.  & Mrs. are notoriously conservative

 **Cisco:** Yeah  
**Cisco:** It’s terrible

 **Iris:** Is there anything we can do to help??

 **Cisco:** I’m gonna ask my parents if he can sleep at our place for a bit so the state doesn’t have to get involved  
**Cisco:** They may suck but at least my parents aren’t homophobes

 **Felicity:** Have you told Hartley this yet??

 **Cisco** : Yes. He asked if I knew anyone who would let him stay at their house

 **Felicity:** Oh good

 **Iris:** If it doesn’t work out at your place I’m sure dad will let him stay with us  
**Iris:** He can’t stand parents who aren’t tollarent

 **Oliver:** Honestly as a last resort he can stay with me  
**Oliver:** My parents hate his and would be willing to house him just to spite them

 **Cisco:** I’ll let him know thanks guys  
**Cisco:** Looks like he’ll be staying with me for a bit though

 **Iris:** Oh good

 **Felicity:** Looks like the family is growing again

***

 **Sara:** Apex  
**Sara:** I am Apex  
**Sara:** I belong Apex  
**Sara:** I am hate  
**Sara:** I am devil  
**Sara:** I am Hell

 **Barry:** I am a rainbow

 **Dig:** I am Death

 **Cisco:** I am Shania Twain

 **Oliver:** I am a fuck boi

 **Barry:** Not anymore you’re not

 **Iris:** I am quacktastic

 **Sara** : I am cracktastic  
**Sara:** Cocaine

 **Cisco:** What the fuck

 **Oliver:** I am fucktastic

 **Iris:** Fuck

 **Oliver:** A duck

 **Iris:** No thanks

 **Oliver:** Hot

 **Barry:** no no no nonononono

 **Dig:** Hacksaw

***

 **Oliver:** I’m sick

 **Caitlin:** That sucks

 **Felicity:** Oh no

 **Oliver:** Yeah  
**Oliver:** It’ll last until the weekend too  
**Oliver:** I ate too much in NYC

 **Felicity:** Yikes

 **Caitlin:** What happened?

 **Oliver:** Long story short I felt sick in the cab and when we stopped I had to sit on the street and finally I migrated to the funeral home bathroom and threw up

 **Cisco:** You threw up in a funeral home?  
**Cisco:** What the fuck man  
**Cisco:** Did you even know who’s funeral it was?

 **Oliver:** I was invited to it so yeah

 **Felicity:** Well that’s a relief

***

 **Felicity:** I honestly imagine this chat as being super rich (Oliver is canon) and fancy versions of ourselves 

**Oliver:** Hnnnn

 **Felicity:** Or as secret agents with the sunglasses and the tech and the explosions

 **Sara:** I’m up for it

 **Barry:** LOL

 **Dig:** Us but powerful and dangerous

 **Felicity:** And awesomer too  
**Felicity:** More skilled than we already are  
**Felicity:** Barry could be super fast  
**Felicity:** And Oliver could do something with his archery hobby  
**Felicity:** Caitlin would have some sort of ice powers  
**Felicity:** I dunno what else  
**Felicity:** Cisco and I could run tech support tho

 **Cisco:** Hell yeah  
**Cisco:** I’m all for staying out of danger

 **Barry:** I feel like Sara would be some sort of ninja  
**Barry:** Because she’s magical that way

 **Sara:** Of course I am

***

 **Caitlin:** Mom - Do you think you know what a sex shop is?  
**Caitlin:** Me - Yeah mom I’m in high school  
**Caitlin:** The context revolves around the removal of that store in town

 **Sara:** Oh that one on Fisher street  
**Sara:** They turned it into a fitness place

 **Caitlin:** Yeah that one

 **Barry:** The place that always looked so sketchy?

 **Dig:** It’s not like we needed two sex shops within walking distance from each other anyway

 **Sara:** There’s still two others in town

 **Dig:** I only know about one other 

**Barry:** wow there were three

 **Sara:** And that one in the strip mall

 **Caitlin:** I didn’t know that was one

 **Oliver:** Who knew we talked about sex so much

***

 **Caitlin:** I’m so mad today

 **Iris:** Why

 **Caitlin:** I don’t know

 **Iris:** That happens sometimes

 **Caitlin:** Yeah I can’t do anything today though cause I feel like I’m gonna rip someone’s head off

 **Felicity:** Only do that if the person really sucks  
**Felicity:** Otherwise don’t

 **Caitlin:** Don’t worry I won’t I’m just feeling that way

 **Iris:** That’s good

***

 **Sara:** Jelly Babies are addictive

 **Barry:** Why would you eat a baby made of jelly

 **Sara:** It’s a British candy  
**Sara:** They’re like giant gummy bears with soft middles  
**Sara:** And they taste really weird

 **Barry:** Huh  
**Barry:** I want one now

 **Cisco:** Oooo me too

 **Sara:** I’ll try to bring some to lunch tomorrow

 **Oliver:** I’m always here for cannibalism 

***

 **Barry:** Why is afternoon and not noon

 **Oliver:** Because noon is twelve pm  
**Oliver:** Everything after is literally afternoon

 **Barry:** But there’s not an aftermorning or after-evening

 **Oliver:** Noon is an exact time. Morning and evening are not

 **Barry:** But why do we have one exact time thing and not two exact time things  
**Barry:** Why isn’t it all one exact time or all not exact times

 **Oliver:** You know what Barry? 

**Barry:** What

 **Oliver:** I DON’T FUCKING KNOW

 **Cisco:** Just google it dude  
**Cisco:** Stop trying to kill Ollie

 **Barry:** Fine

***

 **Oliver:** {Image: container of green maraschino cherries} Um?? What is this creation?

 **Sara:** Green maraschino cherries?

 **Oliver:** But… green? That’s so not okay

 **Dig:** I think it’s a christmas thing what them also being red

 **Oliver:** It’s so weird tho

 **Dig:** I think they used to put them in jello molds

 **Sara:** It’s not like they’re real cherries

 **Oliver:** They’re not?  
**Oliver:** I’m an idiot  
**Oliver:** No wonder they taste nothing like cherries

 **Sara:** Yeah maraschino cherries are candied

 **Oliver:** My life is a lie

***

 **Oliver:** I love the Addams Family

 **Cisco:** Well I love the Munsters  
**Cisco:** JK I like them both

 **Oliver:** I don’t think I’ve watched that one

 **Felicity:** Both are great

 **Oliver:** I’ll have to watch the Munsters then  
**Oliver:** I only just watched the Addams Family Movie this morning 

**Cisco:** Oh not the show  
**Cisco:** The show was better

 **Felicity:** I disagree I liked the movies

 **Oliver:** I guess I’ll have to find the show then!

 **Cisco:** You should

 **Felicity:** Yes you really should

***

 **Barry:** I feel like salamanders are just fancy lizards

 **Iris:** Go to bed Barry


	3. Welcome to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco's confused, Sara's in love, Oliver is nostalgic, and Ronnie joins the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie Raymond: Shop kid; junior; so in love with Cait

**Cisco:** {Image: red SOS on the inside of a car roof} “What does this do?”

**Barry:** Press it  
 **Barry:** You’ll find out

**Felicity:** Do not press it  
 **Felicity:** That’s never a good idea

**Caitlin:** Yeah I’m with Felicity

**Barry:** But it’s fun

**Felicity:** In what movie does pressing the unknown movie ever help anything

**Barry:** It typically doesn’t solve things but does make fun things happen

**Caitlin:** Do you mean blow stuff up

**Felicity:** THE RED BUTTONS ALWAYS BLOW STUFF UP

**Barry:** Which is interesting

**Cisco:** I doubt it would actually blow up the car

**Caitlin:** True

**Felicity:** Still doesn’t seem like a good idea

**Cisco:** I’m curious now  
 **Cisco:** And my moms back  
 **Cisco:** So nevermind

***

**Sara:** I think I’m falling in love  
 **Sara:** Oh well  
 **Sara:** Maybe I’m not as bitter as I thought

**Felicity:** OOOO! With who??

**Sara:** A girl named Linda. I think she’s a junior. Dunno if she’s into girls either

**Felicity:** That’s unfortunate

**Caitlin:** Damn

**Sara:** All will be well. It will go away soon enough

***

**Felicity:** Of all the stupid ways to lose my favorite bracelet it goes down the fucking toilet

**Caitlin:** That really sucks

**Felicity:** Today is just great  
 **Felicity:** Just really great

**Caitlin:** I’m sorry

**Felicity:** It’s ok

**Barry:** Life, I don’t think anyone is having a good day

**Caitlin:** I did correctly interpret your sarcasm, right?  
 **Caitlin:** I hope I didn’t just tell you I’m sorry you’re having a good day

**Felicity:** It was correctly interpreted

**Caitlin:** Bad day too, Barry?

**Barry:** Yeah  
 **Barry:** I’m stressed out

**Iris:** I can feel my uterus pulsing  
 **Iris:** I’m sorry Barry

**Felicity:** I think I have a headcje  
 **Felicity:** *headache

**Barry:** Thank that sucks  
 **Barry:** Me too on the headache

**Iris:** What a day

***

**Sara:** I had a scary amount of glitter in my bra  
 **Sara:** Just to overshare a bit

**Cisco:** Yay glitter  
 **Cisco:** There’s no such thing as a scary amount of glitter

**Sara:** When it’s in your bra there is

**Dig:** If it suffocates you then it’s scary

**Cisco:** That depends

**Dig:** Are you claiming suffocating isn’t scary

**Cisco:** No just you’d have a sparkly death which is nice

***

**Sara:** Has anyone ever used a Ouija board

**Barry:** I haven’t

**Felicity:** Nah man I’m not allowed

**Cisco:** Do not do use one

**Barry:** Why

**Cisco:** They’re a conduit for bad spirits

**Sara:** Then how do I talk to good spirits

**Felicity:** You probably shouldn’t talk to any spirits

**Cisco:** Get some white candles, ask for kind spirits to please communicate

**Sara** : Do they just talk? No fancy stuff

**Cisco:** Sometimes

**Sara:** So it would be easier to use a board then

**Cisco:** No ouija. Ever

**Sara:** Fine

**Barry:** What happens if you use one

**Felicity:** It invites evil

**Cisco:** Nothing good

**Sara:** Right well my mom just said I’m not allowed to summon spirits at home damn it  
 **Sara:** So that’s not happening

**Barry:** Shame  
 **Barry:** I wanted to kiss a ghost

**Cisco:** Don’t kiss ghosts

**Sara:** Damn

**Barry:** Would a ghost be offended if you ask how it died?

**Felicity:** Probably

**Barry:** I want to know that now

***

**Felicity:** I talked to thine parents and y’all can come over on Monday if it works with your schedules  
 **Felicity:** Only I shall mix y’alls and thee old English together

**Barry:** I’ll ask for Iris and I when Joe gets home

**Felicity:** YAY

***

**Cisco:** So it turns out Hartley can be really polite?  
 **Cisco:** Like I think my parents like him even more than they like Dante right now

**Caitlin:** Really?   
**Caitlin:** I’m pleasantly surprised

**Iris:** Is he treating you ok?

**Cisco:** He’s really nice to me???  
 **Cisco:** It’s so weird

**Barry:** Maybe he’s actually a decent human  
 **Barry:** Who was just stressed about having parents from 1600

**Iris:** You should tell him to sit with me and Cait at lunch on Monday  
 **Iris:** He has third lunch too  
 **Iris:** And we always see him eating alone

**Cisco:** Ok

***

**Barry:** I had too much pasta   
**Barry:** And we skittles AKA my weakness

***

**Oliver:** Popular opinion: The clown rage of 2016 wasn’t even the worst part of that hell year

**Sara:** IKR

**Barry:** Wait that was 2 years ago?

**Oliver:** Yeah  
 **Oliver:** Somehow

**Barry:** Odd

**Oliver:** Back when we were young  
 **Oliver:** And full of hope  
 **Oliver:** And optimism

**Barry:** So very young

**Sara:** I think that might have been pre-coming out for me

**Sara:** At least early that year

**Barry:** I’m still optimistic

**Oliver:** The others and I then

**Barry:** I think I need to hold on to my optimism cause it’s good even if it’s not realistic  
 **Barry:** But it works for me at least

**Oliver:** That’s a good reason

**Sara:** I simply enjoy wallowing and being bitter  
 **Sara:** But to each their own

**Felicity:** Holy shit  
 **Felicity:** It’s 2018

**Sara:** You just caught that

**Oliver:** We did stay up until midnight for a reason

**Barry:** 2 more years until 2020

**Felicity:** Shit we should bring back Art Deco

**Oliver:** Y’know what’s gonna be weird  
 **Oliver:** Being old  
 **Oliver:** Like eventually I’m going to be just another person that lived another life on earth  
 **Oliver:** But if I’m lucky that won’t be until 3000

**Sara:** In 2020 we’ll all be off to college

**Felicity:** Shit really  
 **Felicity:** All of us

**Barry:** I’m just kinda hoping I’ll get stuck in a time loop or go on a crazy movie-like trip

**Iris:** Same  
 **Iris:** I just want something cool to happen to me

**Felicity:** I wanna accidentally do something big  
 **Felicity:** And then make money off it

**Iris:** LOL you’re too realistic  
 **Iris:** Live dangerously

**Oliver:** YOLO probably  
 **Oliver:** Unless reincarnation or an afterlife are a thing

**Barry:** Only the ghosts know

**Iris:** It’d be nice if they told us

**Sara:** I used to not know what LOL or YOLO or anything like that   
**Sara:** I was that kid

**Barry:** Same

**Oliver:** I just asked  
 **Oliver:** It’s almost like learning a second language  
 **Oliver:** But simpler

**Sara:** Yeah kinda

**Felicity:** listen Tumblr speak is another language completely

**Iris:** Right  
 **Iris:** I can speak some of it  
 **Iris:** Not enough to spend time on there though  
 **Iris:** Oh well

***

**Sara:** I feel like the most ineffective way to solve a problem is to whip it

***

**Caitlin:** Hey guys I’m gonna add Ronnie ok??

**Barry:** YAY

**Cisco:** Hell yeah

[ _Caitlin has added Ronnie Raymond to the group_ ]

**Ronnie:** Hey guys

**Cisco:** Hi Ronnie!  
 **Cisco:** Welcome to the madness

**Ronnie:** Thanks  
 **Ronnie:** Glad to be here

**Oliver:** Ronnie you’re in my ceramics elective right

**Ronnie:** Yeah 

**Oliver:** Did we have homework

**Ronnie:** Nah we’re free

**Oliver:** O thank god

***

**Cisco:** What if your skeleton fell out  
 **Cisco:** Then just about of skin and organs flopped to the ground

**Barry:** That’d be weird

**Felicity:** What if you could put on different bodies like clothes and you’re just a skeleton otherwise

**Dig:** What the fuck Cisco

**Barry:** I can’t disagree with that

**Cisco:** Let’s just say I’m creatively weird


	4. Surprise Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dig is still a snob, Sara has a crush, so does Cisco, and everyone's least favorite math teacher has a ridiculous secret revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All ridiculous plot twists are on me, unfortunately

**Sara:** I have coffe now

 **Barry:** Good

 **Caitlin:** I think you’re going to need more if you’re going to spell that right

 **Sara:** True

 **Barry:** LOL

***

 **Cisco:** I might buy some spicy pringles lol  
**Cisco:** And die  
**Cisco:** Death by spicy pringle

 **Caitlin:** Don’t die

 **Cisco:** It’s just spicy pringles  
**Cisco:** I was reading the container and I thought it said risk of diabetes  
**Cisco:** I was like grrr

***

 **Felicity:** Maybe if I lay flat on my face all my problems will go away

 **Iris:** Maybe, maybe not

 **Felicity:** Evidently not  
**Felicity:** It hurts

 **Caitlin:** Breathing is required

 **Iris:** I guess that’s a no then

 **Felicity:** I breathed just fine  
**Felicity:** It’s just the hardwood floor  
**Felicity:** On my face

 **Iris:** Ow I’ve done that before

 **Caitlin:** I’d recommend your bed

 **Felicity:** That’s prob better

 **Caitlin:** But then you actually would have breathing issues

 **Felicity:** It’s nice  
**Felicity:** Death by blankets

 **Iris:** No dying by blankets

 **Felicity:** Comfy blankets

 **Caitlin:** No dying

 **Felicity:** Buzzkill

 **Iris:** They always say there’s only a few ways to die that are best

 **Felicity:** That’s interesting

 **Iris:** I remember one is supposed to be in your sleep

 **Caitlin:** NO DYING

 **Felicity:** I’m not  
**Felicity:** Nor do I want to

 **Cisco:** SPIN AROUND IN THE CHAIR WEE

 **Caitlin:** RIP

 **Cisco:** I’m dizzy

 **Iris:** Ew I hate that feeling

 **Felicity:** Same

***

 **Cisco:** Oh my god math was crazy today  
**Cisco:** Because first the principle walks in and apparently  
**Cisco:** SOMEBODY TOLD THE ADMINISTRATION THAT WELLS OUTED HARTLEY AND THEY FIRED HIM

 **Barry:** AND THEN IN WALKS A GUY WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM SHOWED AND TOLD EVERYONE THAT WELLS’ ACTUAL NAME WAS EOBARD AND THAT HE’S ACTUALLY A LARGELY DISCREDITED THEORETICAL PHYSICIST AND THAT HE STOLE HIS BROTHER’S NAME  
**Barry:** BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT THIS OTHER GUY IS THE REAL HARRISON WELLS AND HE’S 1st WELLS’ TWIN BROTHER AND HE’S AN ACTUAL PHYSICIST

 **Cisco:** AND NOW THE NEW WELLS IS GOING TO FINISH OFF THE YEAR AS THE TEACHER INSTEAD TO “right his brother’s wrong”

 **Caitlin:** What  
**Caitlin:** No way

 **Iris:** I need the details  
**Iris:** This is going in the school paper  
**Iris:** Cisco I’m gonna need you to get Hartley to give me an exclusive  
**Iris:** Or you can just give me one

 **Barry:** Hey what about me

 **Iris:** Not now Berry

 **Barry:** I’m… iris how dare

 **Cisco:** I’ll do it

 **Sara:** So what’s happening to the first Wells?

 **Barry:** Oh he was arrested  
**Barry:** Apparently he was wanted for tax fraud

 **Oliver:** Does this school even exist?  
**Oliver:** This is out of a fucking novel

 **Sara:** I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Ollie  
**Sara:** But yeah this is just too weird

 **Ronnie:** So that’s what was off about that guy  
**Ronnie:** I knew he was lying about his physics experience!

 **Iris:** Cait you’re in love with a huge nerd

 **Caitlin:** I know  
**Caitlin:** Isn’t he amazing

 **Ronnie:** Aw I love you too

 **Cisco:** Ew straights

 **Caitlin:** Shut it

 **Sara:** Hey Cisco how’s Hartley with all this

 **Cisco:** Oh he’s thrilled  
**Cisco:** He’s a little anxious about the new Wells though  
**Cisco:** And he’s still furious at the first one

 **Barry:** Understandable and I think we’ll all be

 **Ronnie:** I wanna talk to him about physics  
**Ronnie:** I know I know

 **Barry:** We’ll see come Monday I guess

 **Sara:** Till Monday it is

***

 **Dig:** I would say that no good music has been composed in the past 100 years, but Sir Edward Elgar wrote a great cello concerto 98 years ago, so I still have to wait a bit

 **Barry:** I completely disagree with you

 **Cisco:** What a snob  
**Cisco:** I say it with humor

 **Barry:** There’s been so much great music created

 **Dig:** I guess John Williams has done some cool stuff too though

 **Barry:** Or you know music with lyrics

 **Cisco:** I’m always a slut for Star Wars

 **Oliver:** Dig buddy you’ve got to listen to some Sinatra

 **Barry:** Yeah

 **Oliver:** He’s got the voice of true bliss

 **Dig:** No

***

 **Felicity:** Pink is the best color and everyone else’s arguments are invalid

 **Iris:** Nah

 **Felicity:** I should rephrase as I think pink is the best color and no one is going to change that opinion

 **Iris:** Better

***

 **Cisco:** Everyone likes 80s pop

 **Iris:** So much better than pop today

 **Barry:** I got fucking Rick Rolled listening to a Spotify playlist  
**Barry:** And I didn’t have any skips left  
**Barry:** So I had to listen to the whole song

 **Cisco:** Ha

 **Sara:** Murdered

 **Oliver:** I actually like that song

 **Barry:** How are we dating???

 **Sara:** I’ll never understand

 **Oliver:** Because you love me  
**Oliver:** Fuck off Sara

 **Sara:** Never bitch

***

 **Sara:** Guys I have a problem

 **Iris:** Does it have anything to do with a certain girl in your English class

 **Sara:** Ugh yes  
**Sara:** We got partnered together to work together to answer questions about Macbeth but as soon as I look at her I forget all the answers  
**Sara:** My brain just goes “love me Linda”

 **Iris:** You're so gone on her

 **Felicity:** Wait Linda as in Linda Park??

 **Sara:** Yeah why

 **Felicity:** She's part of the GSA with Barry and Cisco and I  
**Felicity:** She's definitely into girls

 **Sara:** REALLY  
**Sara:** Felicity my love thank you

 **Felicity:** So does this mean you're coming to our next meeting??  
**Felicity:** We have great snacks

 **Sara:** Well in that case…

 **Cisco:** JOIN US FELLOW GAY

 **Felicity:** Ahem

 **Cisco:** Don't worry fellow trans; you're an honorary gay 

**Felicity:** Thank you

 **Iris:** Sara you did say you wanted to spend more time with her

 **Sara:** Iris you traitor

 **Felicity:** Here's your chance!!

 **Sara:** When’s the next one

 **Felicity:** Wednesday after classes

 **Sara:** Fine I’ll follow you there

 **Felicity:** YAY

***

 **Felicity:** What do you call a sad berry

 **Iris:** Barry Allen

 **Ronnie:** A blueberry

 **Felicity:** Damn it Ronnie you stole my punchline

 **Ronnie:** LOL

 **Barry:** Iris why do you hurt me so

***

 **Cisco:** Hey Barry  & Iris  
**Cisco:** You guys are one of those sweet old couples

 **Iris:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Cisco:** Even though you aren’t dating  
**Cisco:** But I mean you’re kinda common law married

 **Barry:** {GIF reading “I love you so much. I’m going to kill you in your sleep.}

 **Cisco:** Aww

 **Iris:** That GIF is appropriate

 **Cisco:** Also romantic

 **Barry:** Your definition of romantic needs work

***

 **Cisco:** I’m worried

 **Oliver:** Why

 **Cisco:** I think I have a crush???

 **Oliver:** On Hartley?

 **Cisco:** Um  
**Cisco:** Maybe

 **Barry:** It’s ok we already knew buddy

 **Cisco:** WHat hOW?

 **Barry:** You’re almost as unsubtle as me

 **Oliver:** And that’s saying something

 **Barry:** Shut up honey

 **Cisco:** Ok but all things aside it turns out he’s really cute and makes great references and ugh  
**Cisco:** Yeah I’m into him

 **Caitlin:** I must be really oblivious cause I did not pick up on this

 **Ronnie:** Sorry sweetie but you can be

 **Caitlin:** Yeah yeah I know  
**Caitlin:** Ok but Cisco  
**Caitlin:** Hartley?? I wasn’t expecting it  
**Caitlin:** He is actually pretty nice though

 **Iris:** Yeah he’s been sitting with at lunch  
**Iris:** You two are perfect for each other

 **Cisco:** I’m not really planning on asking him out yet though  
**Cisco:** He’s still dealing with being outed and everything Eo-Wells did

 **Oliver:** Shame

 **Barry:** Yeah we need more couples in this chat

 **Iris:** Oh f you I’ll have you know Eddie is very close to asking me out

 **Ronnie:** It’s true he is

 **Felicity:** Alright alright happy couple people

 **Cisco:** Just for that I’m going to bed  
**Cisco:** Night

 **Barry:** Don’t let the hets bight


	5. A Fever You Can't Laugh Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco has a moral dilemma, Felicity fangirls, Sara makes weed jokes, and Iris couldn't care less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Linda is hot

**Barry:** Sometimes I wish I lived in a time or town where everyone lives close enough to each other to go on adventures together and explore the town and stuff  
**Barry:** But texting is pretty great

 **Caitlin:** I’d agree but then I remember books like the Outsiders  
**Caitlin:** But then I’m good

 **Barry:** Yeah I was thinking of IT when I said that  
**Barry:** But to be fair I was excluding the clown part  
**Barry:** However they also had really bad bullies and home lives and no one was LGBTQ

 **Caitlin:** Yeah I was thinking about the copious death in the Outsiders  
**Caitlin:** Or Rebel Without a Cause  
**Caitlin:** Still lots of death 

**Oliver:** Damn it I need to replenish my snack stash  
**Oliver:** That’s the risk one must take to adventure into the outside world  
**Oliver:** With dangers lurking in every corner

 **Caitlin:** Actually in Rebel Without a Cause they create the danger for themselves

 **Sara:** Natalie Wood was hot

 **Barry:** She is

 **Oliver:** Do I agree?  
**Oliver:** Let’s find out  
**Oliver:** Yeah she’s hot

 **Caitlin:** She was only 16 in RWAC  
**Caitlin:** When they filmed it

 **Sara:** RWAC?

 **Barry:** Rowing with a carrot

 **Caitlin:** Rebel Without a Cause  
**Caitlin:** Guys

***

 **Cisco:** Damn it the wheels aren’t straight

 **Sara:** Good

 **Cisco:** Axles are one of the few things in life that actually need to be straight

 **Sara:** Shame

***

 **Barry:** Joe finally let me get a piano!!!  
**Barry:** {Video of hands playing the piano intro to Welcome to the Black Parade by MCR}

 **Felicity:** Congrats  
**Felicity:** Ya Emo

***

 **Cisco:** Some Great Gays in history: Lord Byron, Sappho, Oscar Wilde, Achilles  & Patroclus, Alexander the Great & Hephaestion

 **Barry:** Wait Alexander the Great?  
**Barry:** He was one of my favorite historical figures growing up

 **Cisco:** Dude he and Hephaestion were gay AF

 **Barry:** I used to have sword fights with Iris and pretended to be him

 **Cisco:** HA YOU WERE ALWAYS DESTINED TO BE QUEER

 **Barry:** It’s true  
**Barry:** It’s totally true

 **Sara:** History was so gay  
**Sara:** Plato wrote essays on who topped in the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus

 **Iris:** Amazing

 **Barry:** There are all these moments from my childhood that I look back on and I’m like ohhhhhh

 **Sara:** Same  
**Sara:** Like I always loved boobs  
**Sara:** Never knew why  
**Sara:** Until boom I had a crush on a TA

 **Cisco:** LOL nice

 **Barry:** I think I had crush on Kitty Pryde from the X-Men and I’m 90% sure I had one on Captain America

 **Iris:** You have a longstanding crush on Cap  
**Iris:** Don’t fight me on that

 **Barry:** It’s very true  
**Barry:** I mean have you seen those abs

 **Sara:** God we’re all so gay

***

 **Felicity:** Guys 

**Iris:** Hi

 **Felicity:** Those Kennedy documents that were released this year make it look like Harvey Lee Oswald was working with either the CIA or the USSR

 **Iris:** Woah

 **Felicity:** I’m giving up rationality and becoming a conspiracy theorist

 **Barry:** Good idea  
**Barry:** Rationality is annoying

***

 **Cisco:** What’s the plural of platypus  
**Cisco:** Also have you ever seen a baby platypus they’re adorable  
**Cisco:** I want a pet platypus

 **Barry:** OMG they’re so cute

 **Cisco:** IKR

 **Barry:** The thing is I heard they’re also dangerous

 **Ronnie:** They’re venomous  
**Ronnie:** “It is one of the few species of venomous mammals: the male platypus has a spur on the hind foot that delivers a venom capable of causing severe pain to humans.” - Wikipedia

 **Cisco:** Well that’s no fun

***

 **Oliver:** Mom - “Are you still alive”  
**Oliver:** Me - “Yes mom”

 **Cisco:** Didn’t you say your soul was dead like yesterday

 **Oliver:** My soul may be dead but my body isn’t 

**Cisco:** Oh true

***

 **Sara:** Apparently I’m 69 inches tall

 **Iris:** Congratulations

***

 **Sara:** Guess who’s home sick

 **Dig:** You but also me

 **Iris:** Sucks to be you

 **Barry:** I just got 420% Gay on a quiz I’m so happy

 **Sara:** Well ok then mr. pot head

 **Iris:** Ahaha

 **Barry:** What  
**Barry:** Who

 **Dig:** Wow Sara

 **Sara:** 420 refers to weed Barry

 **Dig:** You just had to make a 420 joke

 **Sara:** Sorry I have a fever

 **Dig:** Same tho

***

 **Barry:** Guess who dropped their phone in a trashcan

 **Iris:** You  
**Iris:** It was my trashcan asshole

***

 **Felicity:** Has anyone watched Charli XCX’s Boys video??  
**Felicity:** I lurv it

 **Cisco:** It’s one star studded video

 **Barry:** I’m living for the Brendon Urie scenes  
**Barry:** And Charlie Puth and Oli Sykes

 **Cisco:** Also Jack Antonoff and Riz Ahmed

 **Felicity:** A good mv  
**Felicity:** The best mv

 **Barry:** AND Future  
**Barry:** And is that Caspar Lee?

 **Cisco:** Wiz Khalifa

 **Barry:** I’m just trying to name all boys that I can  
**Barry:** Connor Franta??  
**Barry:** Usain Bolt??!?!

 **Felicity:** What  
**Felicity:** Amaze

 **Barry:** I’m in love with this video

***

 **Sara:** So it turns out the GSA is actually fun??  
**Sara:** And Linda was so awesome and chill  
**Sara:** And wow she’s so pretty

 **Felicity:** Glad to be of service

 **Sara:** I can’t believe I’m saying this but  
**Sara:** Thank you Felicity

 **Felicity:** How much did that hurt

 **Sara:** A lot  
**Sara:** Let’s never speak of it again

 **Felicity:** Oh no way I’m screenshotting that bitch and saving it for every rainy day

 **Sara:** Anyway I’m gonna ask Linda to Homecoming

 **Oliver:** Oh shit right that’s a thing  
**Oliver:** Barry are we going??

 **Barry:** I mean sure

 **Ronnie:** Hey guys we should all go to dinner together first and then go to the dance  
**Ronnie:** I’m sure we can fit in our cars

 **Caitlin:** Ronnie can we pls wear matching colors

 **Ronnie:** Fine but no blue this year

 **Caitlin:** Ah well a girl can try  
**Caitlin:** Yellow?

 **Ronnie:** Yeah that works

 **Cisco:** Hey what about those of us without dates

 **Barry:** Why don’t you ask Hartley

 **Cisco:** Man he’s living with me I don’t want to make him feel awkward or pressured 

**Barry:** That’s a good point  
**Barry:** You can ask him to join our group

 **Cisco:** …. Well that’s better than leaving him at Dante’s mercy for the night  
**Cisco:** I’ll ask if he wants to join us

 **Oliver:** You should just add him to the chat at this point

 **Cisco:** No cause then he’d see you assholes telling me to ask him out

 **Barry:** But you’re into him

 **Cisco:** But we only just started being friends  
**Cisco:** And he’s in a vulnerable position right now  
**Cisco:** So maybe I’ll ask him out when he gets his own place but not until then

 **Caitlin:** Cisco you’re such a good person

 **Oliver:** What would you say if he asked you tho??

 **Cisco:** If it wasn’t cause he feels like he needs to repay me or something I’d say yes  
**Cisco:** But otherwise I can wait

 **Barry:** Damn your self control amazes me

 **Cisco:** SO TO RECAP we’re all going to dinner together before homecoming and I’m supposed to invite Hartley?

 **Oliver:** Yes

 **Barry:** Pretty much

 **Caitlin:** Yep

 **Cisco:** Alright GTG  
**Cisco:** Harry (what we’re calling the new Wells) keeps giving me looks  
**Cisco:** Don’t want him to take my phone

 **Barry:** RIP

 **Oliver:** Good luck

*******

**Ronnie:** A tree fell and sliced our shed and fence in half

 **Iris:** Holy shit

 **Ronnie:** I just love windy winter storms  
**Ronnie:** It was super loud too


	6. Friends are Everything... Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dig is bad at slang, Barry adopts Roy, Felicity gets weird, and Sara gets the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh warnings for discussion of menstruation, hobbits having sex, My Immortal, bi-phobia, and murdering pedophiles
> 
> Also cameo mentions of Tommy/Laurel and Eddie

**Felicity:** What if Bilbo was actually a hoe named Bimbo  
**Felicity:** And just fucked all the dwarfs  
**Felicity:** Wait  
**Felicity:** I didn’t mean to send that  
**Felicity:** *dies*

 **Iris:** The fuck

 **Felicity:** This is why I don’t talk about the damn hobbit

 **Iris:** Ah

…

 **Cisco:** Well then  
**Cisco:** Lovely texts to wake up to

 **Felicity:** Oh my god  
**Felicity:** Yeah I don’t remember sending that?

 **Cisco:** How could you forget something like that LOL

 **Felicity:** It wasn’t even that late when I sent that

 **Cisco:** How does one even get on the train of thought that leads to hobbits and dwarfs doin it?  
**Cisco:** Actually I don’t want to know

 **Iris:** Good choice

***

 **Iris:** You know you have ovaries when you can ask yourself “is that blood or is it chocolate?” Once a month

 **Oliver:** Chocolate??  
**Oliver:** Since when does blood turn a brown color??

 **Iris:** I can't explain  
**Iris:** I don't know  
**Iris:** I don't want to know

 **Cisco:** Sometimes questions are better left unanswered 

**Sara:** I don't even know the answer  
**Sara:** Maybe it has to do with the dead potential baby

 **Oliver:** Dead potential baby… gross…

 **Caitlin:** Actually the reason isn't gross  
**Caitlin:** The blood turns brown because it's old and oxidized 

**Cisco:** Really?

 **Caitlin:** My mom is a doctor  
**Caitlin:** We do talk on occasion 

**Oliver:** I've never seen blood brown though

 **Iris:** Was if over a day old?  
**Iris:** Cause I think that's when it starts to turn

 **Sara:** Also it's mixed with other baby prep stuff  
**Sara:** And discharge  
**Sara:** And egg

 **Iris:** At least I've had plenty of chocolate today

 **Cisco:** Well that's nice

***

 **Oliver:** @ the kid who called me being bi a “disease” - you asked why I’m bi; how about this; why are you straight?

 **Cisco:** That sucks  
**Cisco:** I don’t understand how people cannot grasp other sexualities like seriously WTF it’s not that hard to get

 **Oliver:** And even if it is a hard concept for them they don’t need to insult me about it  
**Oliver:** They’re entitled to their opinions but not to insulting me

 **Cisco:** People should be entitled to their opinion unless that opinion is justifying being mean to someone just being who they are

 **Sara:** It’s not even a hard concept  
**Sara:** Like you love who you love and that’s so simple  
**Sara:** Unless you’re an adult in love with a minor  
**Sara:** Then you’re a pedophile and you can DIE

 **Iris:** It’s a matter of you’re entitled to your opinion until you go around voicing it; that’s the line you have to be aware of  
**Iris:** If you’re voicing your opinion then you’ve got to make sure you respect the people around you. And if you chose not to, you’re aiming to get into trouble

 **Cisco:** Iris you’re very right  
**Cisco:** Honestly thinking it’s wrong to not be straight or calling it a disease to be gay is both ignorant and rude. Is it really that hard to understand that it isn’t always a cis male and a cis female in love?

 **Iris:** And there’s such a difference between saying “I personally don’t believe that it’s right” and saying “It’s wrong” or “It’s a disease” because one stating an opinion and the other makes it sound like it’s a fact

 **Oliver:** Exactly

 **Cisco:** And it’s not that hard to understand

 **Sara:** And yet, it seems like so many people can’t

***

 **Iris:** Our 80 year old mythology teacher said “They’re sucking face” and now I’m going to live an extra five years

 **Dig:** What does that mean?

 **Iris:** It’s slang for making out

 **Dig:** Huh  
**Dig:** Never heard of that

 **Oliver:** Wow  
**Oliver:** How have you never heard of that

 **Dig:** IDK I just haven’t

***

 **Sara:** So I asked Linda to Homecoming

 **Felicity:** What did she say!?!??!

 **Sara:** SHE SAID YES  
**Sara:** And she’s going to come to dinner with us beforehand so you guys are going to have not be total jerks 

**Felicity:** I take offence to that

 **Cisco:** Yeah me too

 **Sara:** AND by you guys I mean Oliver

 **Oliver:** WHY DO YOU HATE ME

 **Sara:** BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO CHEAT ON MY SISTER WITH ME

 **Oliver:** Fair point  
**Oliver:** I’ll do my best  
**Oliver:** Also is Laurel going to the dance

 **Cisco:** She told me she’s going with Tommy actually

 **Oliver:** AND THEY DIDN’T TELL ME

 **Cisco:** They were worried you’d get mad

 **Oliver:** I’m going to go confront them with this BRB

 **Cisco:** DON’T TELL THEM I TOLD YOU

 **Sara:** Hey Cisco did you ask Hartley yet

 **Cisco:** … no

 **Felicity:** Why not you lazy ass???

 **Cisco:** I’m worried he’ll laugh in my face ok

 **Sara:** I thought you two were getting along now tho

 **Cisco:** We are  
**Cisco:** But still

 **Felicity:** Would it help if one of us did it instead

 **Cisco:** Actually yes but who??

 **Caitlin:** He knows Barry or I best so prob one of us?  
**Caitlin:** You know what I’ll ask him tomorrow before 1st period

 **Cisco:** Works for me

***

 **Iris:** Eddie says hi

 **Barry:** Hi Eddie  
**Barry:** I’m a vampire

 **Cisco:** Hi Eddie

 **Iris:** Hi Vampire I said  
**Iris:** I’m Eboby  
**Iris:** (That was Eddie)

 **Barry:** Nice to meet you Eboby

 **Iris:** (He says anyone who gets the reference is his favorite)  
**Iris:** (I don’t get it)

 **Barry:** I don’t either

 **Felicity:** That reminds me of My Immortal  
**Felicity:** Is that the reference  
**Felicity:** Ebony Raven Dark'ness Dementia Way?

 **Cisco:** I can’t believe you know that

 **Felicity:** Heh

 **Iris:** Felicity U WIN

 **Felicity:** HAHA!

***

 **Oliver:** Barry where are you  
**Oliver:** Barry what have you done

 **Barry:** I’m  
**Barry:** Um

 **Oliver:** I don’t want Roy??

 **Barry:** It’s too late

 **Oliver:** Why am I his father all of a sudden  
**Oliver:** What have you done

 **Barry:** You’re officially the deadbeat dad honey!  
**Barry:** I might have adopted him

 **Oliver:** Where are you

 **Cisco:** Spanish

 **Barry:** Traitor

***

 **Ronnie:** I just had a burrito for the first time in three years

 **Cisco:** The fuck

 **Sara:** LOL

 **Cisco:** But I had one with you at Chipotle?!

 **Ronnie:** What  
**Ronnie:** No way

 **Sara:** LOL

 **Ronnie:** I can’t have burritos  
**Ronnie:** And I have no memory of this

 **Cisco:** Oh wait  
**Cisco:** You had a burrito bowl

 **Sara:** LOL

***

 **Cisco:** I just fell out of my closet

 **Sara:** Noooo

 **Felicity:** That’s one way to come out

 **Cisco:** Yeah it is  
**Cisco:** But it was uncomfortable  
**Cisco:** Thankfully there were clothes on the floor  
**Cisco:** To soften my landing

***

 **Barry:** {Copious emojis of various meanings}

 **Caitlin:** Barry we get that you like emojis but please go to sleep

 **Barry:** Fuck sleep  
**Barry:** But yeah you’re right 

**Sara:** Sleep can’t consent  
**Sara:** As it is not sentient  
**Sara:** Therefore no, you can not fuck sleep

 **Barry:** Leave sleep alone

 **Sara:** Consent is key!!

 **Caitlin:** Ok now sleep

 **Barry:** I agree but I still don’t want to sleep  
**Barry:** I mean I should  
**Barry:** But I don’t want to  
**Barry:** See the problem?

 **Caitlin:** No. Sleep


	7. You are the Dancing Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity thinks about zombies, Cisco is a self admitted coward, Oliver wants to wear casual clothes to the dance, Linda joins the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linda Park: School newspaper reporter; junior; dating Sara

**Felicity:** Does it count as murder if you kill someone who’s already dead

 **Cisco:** I don’t think so

 **Felicity:** In the context that they came back to life

 **Cisco:** Wait what

 **Felicity:** As zombies  
**Felicity:** Zombie it up

 **Cisco:** It would probably be legal to murder someone who came back to life because they’re still legally dead  
**Cisco:** Would it still be murder though? Probably

 **Felicity:** Yeah  
**Felicity:** Then again that depends on what you consider alive

 **Cisco:** Maybe a zombie aren't exactly alive

 **Caitlin:** Loss of higher brain function = brain dead = not considered worth saving 

**Felicity:** Yes but are zombies brain dead?  
**Felicity:** Cause like zombies obviously have hunger and will to life  
**Felicity:** And that seems like life

 **Cisco:** But I don’t think they have many other functions

 **Caitlin:** Yes but if they died then oxygen to the brain would have been cut off therefore even if they were reanimated the brain wouldn’t be the same  
**Caitlin:** Higher brain function would be gone  
**Caitlin:** Hence only the basic instincts of food and survival

 **Felicity:** But isn’t that still alive  
**Felicity:** Those are the instincts lots of animals rely on

 **Caitlin:** I mean being brain dead is a bit different than being dead dead

 **Cisco:** I think that killing a zombie would prob be legal if zombies were running around left and right cause they’d pose such a threat to the general public

 **Felicity:** But that doesn’t mean they aren’t living creatures  
**Felicity:** And that killing one wouldn’t constitute as murder

 **Cisco:** You’ve got a point  
**Cisco:** We do charge people with murder of pets right

 **Caitlin:** Yes

 **Dig:** It’s highly likely they’d wipe out infrastructure such as emergency services and the military wouldn’t be able to contain the threat

 **Felicity:** Depends on the infection rate and lethality of an individual zombie

 **Dig:** But they may lose rights due to being dead

 **Felicity:** That would make sense  
**Felicity:** They’d be legal to kill because they are human/alive anymore

 **Dig:** Exactly  
**Dig:** Especially if they pose a threat to society

 **Sara:** Then they’d be killed quickly

 **Caitlin:** Unless the infection rate is high  
**Caitlin:** In most zombie stuff it is

 **Dig:** Right

 **Sara:** In which case everyone else would die quickly and a new subspecies of humans would reign

 **Felicity:** But what if the they were’t violent or infectious to the living  
**Felicity:** Would we keep them as pet? Use them as an alternative food source

 **Dig:** Unless we got all Warm Bodies or iZombie and let them live among humans

 **Sara:** Unless overpopulation because there’s more dead than living

 **Dig:** They could decay too much though

 **Felicity:** Oh right then they might have short lifespans

 **Cisco:** We could kill them with accelerated decay!  
**Cisco:** I don’t know if that’s new or not but I like it

 **Dig:** That would work

 **Caitlin:** You can speed up decay with heat  
**Caitlin:** And assuming they still need to eat the intestines are one of the fist things to go

 **Cisco:** Heat ray!

 **Sara:** But human bodies are pretty easy to preserve

 **Caitlin:** But not for long periods of time

 **Cisco:** Hmmm

***

 **Oliver:** Sara scared me for life yesterday

 **Barry:** Oh what happened

 **Oliver:** Sara? Care to explain?

 **Sara:** Um  
**Sara:** I forget

 **Oliver:** It was about snow of the white variety

 **Sara:** What? I honestly don’t know

 **Oliver:** You told me the original story remember

 **Sara:** There’s no cocaine in the OG Snow White tho?

 **Oliver:** No you said the prince actually was horrible and didn’t kiss her to wake her up

 **Sara:** Oh wait do you mean Sleeping Beauty??

 **Oliver:** Ohhh right  
**Oliver:** I did  
**Oliver:** I failed  
**Oliver:** They’re all Disney to me

 **Barry:** TBH I thought they were the same thing

 **Sara:** One involves dragons the other has dwarfs

***

_[Cisco has named the chat **Who Talks First?** ]_

**Oliver:** Are you referencing The Force Awakens?

 **Cisco:** I’m so proud that you knew that

 **Barry:** I made him watch it

 **Cisco:** Of course  
**Cisco:** I should’ve known

 **Oliver:** Hey I would’ve watched it  
**Oliver:** At some point

 **Caitlin:** Sorry to divert from this fascinating subject but I have news  
**Caitlin:** Hartley has agreed to join us for Homecoming 

**Cisco:** Yay!

 **Caitlin:** He wants you to and I quote  
**Caitlin:** “Please tell him the what the actual fuck he's supposed to wear” as you’ve seen the clothes he has

 **Cisco:** Oh right yikes  
**Cisco:** Hey guys are we going formal or casual this year

 **Oliver:** I vote casual

 **Caitlin:** Aw but formal is so fun!

 **Cisco:** Is everyone here?

 **Oliver:** Yes

 **Sara:** I live

 **Ronnie:** As do I

 **Barry:** I’m sitting next to you??

 **Felicity:** Yo

 **Dig:** Hello

 **Caitlin:** I feel like my presence was obvious

 **Iris:** Are we voting?

 **Cisco:** Let’s vote  
**Cisco:** Yes what Iris said  
**Cisco:** Alright all please state your choice

 **Sara:** Wait hold up my girlfriend gets a say in this

_[Sara has added Linda Park to the conversation]_

**Sara:** Hey Linda we’re voting on weather we go wear casual or formal to the dance

 **Linda:** Ok cool

 **Cisco:** Alright  
**Cisco:** Please state your opinions  
**Cisco:** Now

 **Oliver:** Casual

 **Sara:** Casual

 **Ronnie:** Formal

 **Barry:** Casual

 **Dig:** Formal

 **Caitlin:** Formal

 **Iris:** Formal

 **Cisco:** Casual

 **Felicity:** Formal

 **Linda:** Casual

 **Cisco:** Well then  
**Cisco:** My plan may have gone array  
**Cisco:** Because that’s a tie

 **Iris:** Ask Hartley what he wants

 **Cisco:** Oh yeah

 **Linda:** Why isn’t he in the chat if he’s coming

 **Sara:** Because Cisco is a coward

 **Cisco:** Actually that’s true  
**Cisco:** I am being a coward  
**Cisco:** But I’m ok with that

 **Linda:** Oh  
**Linda:** So what did he say?

 **Cisco:** He wants casual  
**Cisco:** So casual it is

 **Caitlin:** Damn

***

 **Iris:** Shit  
**Iris:** My tits

 **Barry:** Same

 **Iris:** They keep bouncing

 **Barry:** Wait not same

 **Sara:** Oh my god

 **Barry:** Crap

 **Iris:** Amazing

 **Barry:** Well I'm never gonna live that down 

**Sara:** No you will not 

***

 **Cisco:** I fucked up so bad today

 **Caitlin:** What happened?

 **Cisco:** I was with my mom at the grocery store and I got distracted and went up to a car that looks like ours and got in it  
**Cisco:** I was like oh shit  
**Cisco:** It was so fucking embarrassing

 **Oliver:** Oh god

 **Caitlin:** That’s horrible 

**Cisco:** IKR  
**Cisco:** It got worse though  
**Cisco:** There was a lady in the car  
**Cisco:** She was so mad  
**Cisco:** And I was all OMG I’m so sorry

 **Oliver:** Yikes yikes yikes

 **Cisco:** Words cannot describe how embarrassing that was  
**Cisco:** At least I’ll prob never see her again  
**Cisco:** Life lesson: look where the fuck you’re going

***

 **Felicity:** Throwback to when Dig made Holy Water

 **Cisco:** Wait Dig made Holy Water??  
**Cisco:** How??

 **Dig:** I followed a wikihow  
**Dig:** It took a lot of chanting

 **Felicity:** Wow

 **Cisco:** What would be the difference between Holy Water and fucking Holy Water

 **Dig:** You’ve gotta be exasperated to make the later

***

 **Barry:** I just called a pillow a pickle

 **Caitlin:** Go to bed

 **Barry:** But it’s seven  
**Barry:** And you could totally sleep on a pickle  
**Barry:** BESIDES I’VE GOTTEN FOUR HOURS OF SLEEP OUT OF THE PAST TWENTY FOUR

 **Caitlin:** A you should really sleep  
**Caitlin:** Like please sleep  
**Caitlin:** This is not good

 **Barry:** I will after Jeopardy!

 **Caitlin:** Fair enough


	8. I Wanna Dance All Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's an optimist, Ronnie finds potatoes, Linda's cat is revealed, and the dance finally happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that I never clarified where this story is based. I've landed on Star City, based in Connecticut. They go to Star Public High School, because I have no clue how to write a private school setting.

**Barry:** TONIGHT IS THE DANCE  
 **Barry:** I’M VERY HAPPY

**Linda:** HELL YEAH

**Iris:** Hey Linda I’m so glad you’re joining us

**Linda:** Aw thanks!

**Ronnie:** Yeah you and Sara are so perfect

**Linda:** Aww thanks

**Ronnie:** Especially since you both love sports  
 **Ronnie:** Also I hope that didn’t come off creepy or fetish-y  
 **Ronnie:** Cause I genuinely do mean that you two seem great for each other

**Linda:** Don’t worry  
 **Linda:** I got that

**Ronnie:** Oh good

**Caitlin:** Hey where are we going to dinner again?  
 **Caitlin:** Mom wants to know how much money I’ll need

**Barry:** We agreed on Red Rose right?  
 **Barry:** Cause they have all the options

**Caitlin:** Right

**Linda:** So my mom is dropping me off at the restaurant  
 **Linda:** Who’s driving us back to the school

**Ronnie:** Oliver and I have SUVs, and Barry and Iris share a Subaru. Between the three we can all fit

**Linda:** Cool cool  
 **Linda:** See everyone later!

**Barry:** See ya!

***

**Cisco:** Last night was so fun  
 **Cisco:** Hartley even said it was “enjoyable”

**Barry:** High praise from mr. high society

**Felicity:** I think last night was the first time I’ve ever heard him talk  
 **Felicity:** And he was really sweet??  
 **Felicity:** He must have really changed because, Cisco, he was nothing like you used to say he was

**Barry:** He’s really changed for the better

**Cisco:** Besides he’s been having so much fun telling Harry the horrible stories of EoWells  
 **Cisco:** He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him

**Caitlin:** I think a lot of that has to do with you

**Cisco:** What  
 **Cisco:** Why

**Caitlin:** You and your family gave him a home when he needed one  
 **Caitlin:** And honestly, without you and your introducing him to us I’m not totally sure he’d really have any friends

**Cisco:** Oh

**Caitlin:** I’m really proud of you Cisco  
 **Caitlin:** Whether you end up dating him or not

**Cisco:** I  
 **Cisco:** Thank you

***

**Ronnie:** {Image of a variety of potatoes on trays on a table, some with prize ribbons}  
 **Ronnie:** Fellow potatoes at the county fair

**Barry:** Yay potatoes

**Ronnie:** {Image of five potatoes on a tray, only one or two millimeters long}  
 **Ronnie:** I love them

**Iris:** Aww they’re teeny tiny 

***

**Barry:** Iris I forgot, why do salmon go to the sea again?

**Iris:** I just remember that they do it when they grow up  
 **Iris:** And then they return to their birth river to lay/fertilize their eggs

**Barry:** The real question is why would they go through all that trouble LOL

**Ronnie:** Because the rivers become too cold in the winter 

**Barry:** Right  
 **Barry:** It also says on wikipedia that they do it to undergo chemical changes

**Iris:** Who knows  
 **Iris:** We’re not salmon

**Ronnie:** Why did you want to know anyway

**Barry:** Because I did

**Ronnie:** … ok

***

**Caitlin:** Does anyone else ever look in the mirror and see a middle aged mom staring back at you?  
 **Caitlin:** Asking for a friend

**Linda:** Can’t say I have, no

**Caitlin:** Must be them, then

***

**Iris:** “Litty Titties” - Sara 2018

***

**Barry:** Do people have balls anymore?  
 **Barry:** They seem fun

**Iris:** Um  
 **Iris:** What kind of balls

**Barry:** Oh  
 **Barry:** I meant the dance ones… 

**Felicity:** Barry I love you

**Iris:** Oh ok

**Barry:** I love you too Felicity!

**Felicity:** Actually yes people do still have those

**Barry:** Ooo yay

**Felicity:** They’re having one at the Summit House soon I think

**Barry:** Will they wear fancy dresses and suits and all that?

**Felicity:** I’d think so

**Barry:** I want to go

**Felicity:** I always wanted to go to a costume ball growing up

**Iris:** A why did you want to go casual to the dance if you’re so interested in fancy clothes

**Barry:** Because Homecoming isn’t a ball

**Felicity:** True there is a difference between a Homecoming dance and a royal ball

**Iris:** …

***

**Barry:** I really hope this year goes well

**Oliver:** I’ve got a feeling it’ll be shit  
 **Oliver:** But I’m trying to be optimistic

**Dig:** Don’t be like that man

**Barry:** I know it’s hard for you to be optimistic but if it helps I’ll try and share some of my optimism

**Oliver:** Thanks  
 **Oliver:** Either way I’m gonna make sure you have a good year

**Barry:** Aww

**Dig:** I’m gonna make sure my dog has a good year

**Barry:** Even I can’t match a dog’s optimism

**Dig:** IKR  
 **Dig:** Also WTF Ollie since when are you such a sap

**Barry:** Hehe

***

**Felicity:** I’m garbage

**Linda:** Hey don’t say that  
 **Linda:** You are not garbage

**Felicity:** Pinterest loving, fanfic writing, absolute garbage  
 **Felicity:** And I love it

**Linda:** Oh

**Felicity:** I mean in a good way

**Linda:** Then it’s all good  
 **Linda:** Be the best garbage you can be

**Felicity:** Exactlly

***

**Sara:** {Image of part of a text conversation with _DAD,_ reading   
_“I found something of yours”_  
“What is it?”  
 _“Your sense of humor”_  
 _“I’ll give it back when you get home”_ }  
 **Sara:** I hate my father

**Linda:** Why

**Ronnie:** LOL

**Linda:** He said he’d give it back  
 **Linda:** It’s not like you have to keep it

**Sara:** Oh my god  
 **Sara:** You’re just as bad

***

**Ronnie:** I’m eating the biggest candy cane in existence  
 **Ronnie:** It’s a little weird  
 **Ronnie:** If you know what I mean

**Sara:** Heh

**Dig:** I like candy canes

**Sara:** DIG OMG

**Dig:** What  
 **Dig:** They’re really good  
 **Dig:** And colorful

**Sara:** Oh child  
 **Sara:** He’s comparing it to a dick

**Dig:** Oh  
 **Dig:** Yeah not a fan of those

***

**Iris:** I have the song Girlfriend In A Coma stuck in my head

**Cisco:** That’s a good one

**Caitlin:** I don’t know it

**Iris:** It’s by the Smiths  
 **Iris:** Really good

**Cisco:** Guy tries to kill his girlfriend in it  
 **Cisco:** It’s hilarious

**Iris:** And very funny   
**Iris:** And nice sounding

**Caitlin:** It also appears to be very short

**Cisco:** Short and sweet

***

**Linda:** I swear I keep hearing something coming up my creaky stairs  
 **Linda:** And this creepy movie isn’t helping

**Caitlin:** Uh that’s creepy

**Linda:** OH OF COURSE IT’S MY FUCKING CAT

**Caitlin:** Oh wow

**Linda:** It was going on for a while  
 **Linda:** So I thought it wasn’t the cat  
 **Linda:** But  
 **Linda:** It was


	9. Love and Pasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin is well read, Oliver is oblivious, Iris talks about Wally, and Sara gets sick again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's extensive talk about town names from Massachusetts in this chap, and I'm sorry to say I forgot to mention the lovely city of Chicopee in my haste.

**Caitlin:** Sara are you coming in today?

 **Sara:** Bhic I’m sick

 **Caitlin:** That sucks

 **Sara:** Well I just choked on the mucus I coughed up so I’m not much in the way of doing math

 **Caitlin:** Wait what does Bhic mean?

 **Sara:** Nothing  
**Sara:** It was my trying to rhyme/not call you a bitch

 **Caitlin:** Oh

 **Sara:** My dog has big eyes  
**Sara:** *bug eyes

 **Caitlin:** Huh

 **Sara:** I never noticed that before

***

 **Cisco:** Is sandwich, MA a real place

 **Iris:** Probably

 **Cisco:** LOL

 **Felicity:** I so wouldn’t be surprised

 **Cisco:** It is  
**Cisco:** OMG

 **Felicity:** I mean  
**Felicity:** There is a town named Orange too

 **Cisco:** {Image of Google search results on Sandwich, Mass}

 **Felicity:** Wait you’re missing the best part  
**Felicity:** MASHPEE

 **Cisco:** Oh god

 **Felicity:** What even is Massachusetts

 **Iris:** A strange place

 **Cisco:** I’m so glad I don’t have to go around saying “Hi I’m from Mashpee, MA”  
**Cisco:** Then again I also don’t want to say that I’ve seen the Dover Demon

 **Felicity:** Oh fuck  
**Felicity:** That again

 **Cisco:** LOL

 **Felicity:** Wait wait  
**Felicity:** SAGAMORE

 **Cisco:** Oh no

 **Iris:** What

 **Felicity:** I can’t with these names  
**Felicity:** I just can’t 

**Cisco:** “Hi, I’m from Mashpee, Massachusetts, and I’ve seen the Dover Demon. My grandma lives in Athol, and my uncle lives in Sagamore.”  
**Cisco:** That Commonwealth…

 **Iris:** LOL

 **Felicity:** It’s so amazingly dumb  
**Felicity:** I love it

 **Cisco:** Blame those Puritans not me 

***

 **Caitlin:** So I’ve been going through weird wiki pages all day and I was looking at the one on pharmacological torture and guess what was on the “been used” list

 **Sara:** What?

 **Caitlin:** Metrazol ICT

 **Sara:** What is that

 **Caitlin:** A drug that gave people seizures, and then they’d put the people in insulin comas

 **Sara:** I might have heard about this

 **Caitlin:** And where did they discover this practice  
**Caitlin:** Psychiatric hospitals in the late 19th century

 **Ronnie:** Oh god

 **Sara:** That’s fucked up

 **Caitlin:** It was the pre ECT treatment  
**Caitlin:** ECT was made to be more humane than it  
**Caitlin:** ECT  
**Caitlin:** More humane

 **Ronnie:** That’s terrifying

 **Sara:** ECT?

 **Caitlin:** Electroshock therapy

 **Sara:** Oh THAT

 **Caitlin:** And I’ve known about metrazol ICT for years but I never knew it was classified as fucking torture

 **Ronnie:** That’s terrible

 **Caitlin:** Once again I am enraged by the history of psychiatric medicine

 **Ronnie:** I can see why

 **Caitlin:** I haven’t felt this way in a good year and a half either

 **Ronnie:** I can’t understand why they would feel like that was a good way to treat mental health patients

 **Caitlin:** When there were no treatments at all the doctors would feel like attenands with no degrees, so taking any form of action made them feel more validated in their professions. No matter the cost to the patients. 

**Ronnie:** Oh.  
**Ronnie:** Oh.

***

 **Sara:** So Iris  
**Sara:** Are you and Eddie official now?

 **Iris:** Yep!  
**Iris:** He’s coming to family dinner night on Friday to meet dad and Wally

 **Barry:** I’m bringing Ollie too  
**Barry:** To try to cut the tension

 **Iris:** Yeah poor Wally

 **Sara:** He’ll be the lone wolf?

 **Barry:** Yeah poor guy

 **Cisco:** Hey the single life isn’t that bad  
**Cisco:** You don’t have to worry about spending money on other people  
**Cisco:** Except I actually do  
**Cisco:** Because all y’all are bums

 **Oliver:** Except me  
**Oliver:** Because I’m the other one that everyone takes money from

 **Cisco:** To be fair  
**Cisco:** You do have the money for it dude

 **Oliver:** … 

**Barry:** Where do you think I get all my good sweaters from?

 **Oliver:** Obviously me  
**Oliver:** Because otherwise you dress like an annoying hipster 

**Barry:** …

 **Cisco:** Your relationship is either super sweet or super savage

 **Iris:** It’s so true they are

***

 **Iris:** So apparently Wally has a thing for both Jax Jackson the JV quarterback and Jessie Wells, Harry’s daughter?  
**Iris:** It’s like he wants to be murdered??

 **Cisco:** Aww  
**Cisco:** Is he just finding out he’s queer?

 **Iris:** He is and it’s great cause he and Barry are bonding over it  
**Iris:** But it’s weird cause I think he doesn’t know I’m bi

 **Barry:** Nah he doesn’t  
**Barry:** You should tell him so you can talk about girls together

 **Cisco:** Sweet baby gay

 **Iris:** I know!  
**Iris:** I just wish he’d talk to me about it even if he does think I’m straight  
**Iris:** Have I not made it clear how much I love him no matter what  
**Iris:** (As long as he doesn’t commit a heinous crime)

 **Barry:** I think he’s just embarrassed  
**Barry:** I don’t think many teens want to talk about boys with their big sister

 **Cisco:** Yeah like I wouldn’t want to talk about girls with Dante

 **Iris:** Cisco  
**Iris:** How in the fresh hell is that relevant  
**Iris:** Also you’re gay

 **Cisco:** I dunno  
**Cisco:** I just wanted to add my two cents

 **Oliver:** Iris I don’t understand why you would want to talk about relationships with your smaller siblings  
**Oliver:** Like I wouldn’t want to talk about boys with Thea??

 **Sara:** Oh hey on the subject of Thea how’s she taking Laurel and Tommy being together?

 **Oliver:** Why would she have a problem with that?

 **Sara:** I doubt she would have stopped talking to Laurel if it was fine

 **Oliver:** What? Why’d she do that

 **Sara:** You weren’t aware of her long standing crush on your best friend?  
**Sara:** Great communication, big bro

 **Oliver:** SHE HAS A CRUSH ON TOMMY?  
**Oliver:** She never told me?

 **Barry:** Honey even I knew

 **Sara:** I think you can understand why  
**Sara:** Besides you literally just said you didn’t want to talk about guys with Thea??

 **Oliver:** Ok fine  
**Oliver:** But like… a crush  
**Oliver:** On Tommy

 **Sara:** Trust me I don’t know what my sister sees in him, let alone yours too

 **Iris:** All the babies are in love!

 **Cisco:** I feel like that sounds creepier than you meant it

 **Iris:** Fuck off

 **Cisco:** Well ok then

***

 **Barry:** I feel like this year is going to go really well  
**Barry:** And also change me for the better  
**Barry:** I want to be more confident and comfortable with myself

 **Oliver:** I hope it all does  
**Oliver:** In the best of ways

 **Barry:** Me too  
**Barry:** And hopefully everyone's year is good too

 **Oliver:** Thanks

 **Dig:** Ugh why do you gotta be such a cute couple

 **Sara:** I feel

 **Oliver:** F you both

 **Sara:** Too late

 **Dig:** No thanks

***

 **Barry:** Y’know I remember things oddly  
**Barry:** Everything’s all jumbled  
**Barry:** Certain words, images, or sounds link to sets of memories

 **Caitlin:** That sounds like a form of association 

**Barry:** That’s neat

 **Caitlin:** I have trouble remembering things linearly

 **Barry:** Exactly

 **Felicity:** Same

 **Barry:** I also tend to replace things

 **Caitlin:** Replacing memories with fictional events is stuff everyone does  
**Caitlin:** Usually your memories from before the age of ten aren’t very solid

 **Felicity:** That’s true

 **Barry:** To me they’re all a blur  
**Barry:** Though some parts are more clear

 **Felicity:** I can never remember what I used to look like  
**Felicity:** Unless I see a picture  
**Felicity:** So I always look like current me in my memories

 **Barry:** Just shorter?

 **Felicity:** I’m actually not sure  
**Felicity:** When I go back far enough for me to be shorter it’s typically not in the third person

 **Caitlin:** I have trouble remembering big events. I remember small things like feelings or images  
**Caitlin:** Like I can’t tell you what happened on a specific day but I can give you some examples of what I’ve had for lunch in the last month

 **Barry:** Such small details are blurs to me  
**Barry:** I have trouble remembering smaller events  
**Barry:** And feelings are tough too  
**Barry:** Unless they happened a few days ago

 **Felicity:** That’s like the opposite of me  
**Felicity:** The longer it’s been the better I remember it  
**Felicity:** But I can never remember when they happened

 **Barry:** Oh same  
**Barry:** Which can be a problem

 **Caitlin:** I can’t remember what we did on my last birthday unless I think on it, but I can instantly remember how I felt

 **Barry:** Huh  
**Barry:** I remember your birthday as what gift I gave you and what we ate

 **Felicity:** Memory is so weird

 **Barry:** Yeah

 **Caitlin:** Totally

***

 **Sara:** You know you’re fucked when it’s almost five thirty in the morning, you’ve only slept an hour, and now you’re making pasta


	10. Cisco Doesn't Deserve This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is a gossip, Sara is snarky, and Ronnie traumatizes Cisco by accidentally revealing that he and Caitlin had sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's prob only gonna be two or so more chapters, ending this around Halloween. How does that sound?

**Sara:** NO ONE SAYS DUCKING, APPLE

 **Cisco:** IKR  
**Cisco:** Like that happens way too much

 **Dig:** Ducking  
**Dig:** I think it just doesn’t want you to say fuck

 **Cisco:** Ducking apple  
**Cisco:** Fucking apple  
**Cisco:** It really doesn’t want you to!

***

 **Ronnie:** So apparently a train in Florida was stopped because guess what was on the tracks  
**Ronnie:** The dead body of a guy who was stabbed with a sword

 **Sara:** A fucking sword?  
**Sara:** This isn’t the fucking middle ages??

 **Ronnie:** Yes a fucking sword  
**Ronnie:** {http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/palm-beach/fl-reg-lake-worth-sword-homicide-20171126-story.html} 

**Sara:** What the fuck  
**Sara:** How the fuck did a homeless man get a fucking three foot sword

 **Ronnie:** IKR  
**Ronnie:** I have no idea

***

 **Barry:** So I’m at lunch and y’know how Cisco and I sit with Roy, Dick, and Wally?

 **Sara:** Yeah

 **Barry:** So Roy had a Devil Dog in his bag and refused to eat it normally

 **Oliver:** What did that little shit do

 **Barry:** He felated it

 **Sara:** In the cafeteria??

 **Barry:** Yep, in front everyone

 **Oliver:** Did he manage to get the whole thing in his mouth?

 **Barry:** He did, actually

 **Cisco:** I kept telling him he’s wasting his efforts in the robotics club

 **Sara:** Oh my god

 **Iris:** BREAKING  
**Iris:** ROY HARPER SUCKS DICK

 **Oliver:** He’s been sucking Greyson’s dick for the last year???

 **Sara:** How do you know that??

 **Oliver:** He’s Thea’s best friend

 **Barry:** Oh shit ha  
**Barry:** No wonder he did that in front of him then

 **Cisco:** Tho it did get decidedly unsexy when the Devil Dog broke in half

 **Sara:** HAHA

 **Iris:** Poor Roy…  
**Iris:** Foiled by pastry

***

 **Linda:** I never knew that Dame was the fem equivalent to Knights

 **Iris:** Bar remember when we got knighted

 **Barry:** Oh my god  
**Barry:** Yes

 **Linda:** You got knighted!?  
**Linda:** That’s awesome

 **Iris:** Ah, 5th grade  
**Iris:** We had a huge feast and everything

 **Linda:** That’s really cool  
**Linda:** I can’t believe I’m friends with two Knights

 **Iris:** LOL

***

 **Oliver:** So apparently Tommy wants to tell Laurel he loves her  
**Oliver:** And he wants my advice on how to do that

 **Barry:** That’s precious  
**Barry:** Have you told him yet?

 **Oliver:** No  
**Oliver:** I don’t know how to without ruining his image of me

 **Barry:** HAHA

 **Felicity:** Told Tommy what?

 **Barry:** That I’m the one said I love you first

 **Felicity:** Aw that’s so sweet

 **Sara:** I always knew he was a coward  
**Sara:** Should I just tell Laurel to say it first  
**Sara:** Because the other way around will be a disaster

 **Barry:** I mean  
**Barry:** You might?

 **Oliver:** No  
**Oliver:** Let’s give Tommy a chance  
**Oliver:** He might end up more confident than me

 **Felicity:** Plenty of people are

 **Sara:** Fuckin BURN

 **Oliver:** Will you ever not despise me?

 **Sara:** I don’t despise you  
**Sara:** I just love to roast you

 **Barry:** She does a good job of it

 **Linda:** I have the best GF

 **Sara:** Aw  
**Sara:** So do I!

 **Oliver:** Only you could turn that into something romantic, Sara

 **Sara:** It’s my specialty

***

 **Iris:** There’s a fly in the classroom  
**Iris:** Nevermind it’s gone now

 **Cisco:** Do you think there are gay flies?

 **Iris:** IDK maybe

 **Linda:** I have heard that many animals can be gay  
**Linda:** So it’s possible

 **Cisco:** Maybe everything’s gay

 **Iris:** Maybe

 **Linda:** I hope

***

 **Iris:** The problem with using pancake mix in cupcakes is the pancake aftertaste

 **Linda:** Haha

 **Ronnie:** Ah yes

***

 **Oliver:** My parents keep telling me to invite you guys over  
**Oliver:** So if anyone wants to come over anytime this week lemme know

 **Dig:** Yeah no one wants to come to my place  
**Dig:** Unless you want to die of mold spore inhalation

 **Oliver:** I’d prefer not to

 **Felicity:** Or people could come to mine  
**Felicity:** See “Her”

 **Oliver:** Her?

 **Felicity:** {Image of small, fluffy white dog}  
**Felicity:** Her

 **Dig:** LOL

 **Oliver:** YES  
**Oliver:** MY FAVORITE DOG  
**Oliver:** Send her my love  
**Oliver:** Also I’m sorry for that time I almost sat on her  
**Oliver:** She’s just so small

 **Felicity:** Well everyone’s welcome any time  
**Felicity:** And She’s always happy to have friends over

 **Oliver:** Huzzah

 **Linda:** Yay!

***

 **Cisco:** So when we got home from school this afternoon Hartley was being all spazzy and I was all like settle the fuck down and asked him what was going on  
**Cisco:** And long story short apparently he has a thing for a guy that he’s too scared to talk to because he used to be a jerk to the guy

 **Felicity:** Aww I’m sure if he explained and apologized the guy would be willing to hear him out?

 **Cisco:** He said the guy already knows and that he forgave him?

 **Felicity:** Did he say anything about who the guy is?

 **Cisco:** Nah  
**Cisco:** Said he didn’t want to bug me with his problems

 **Barry:** Little late for that  
**Barry:** Seeing as how he lives with you  
**Barry:** But also how’re you doing with it

 **Cisco:** I’ve already come to terms with the fact where it’s never gonna happen  
**Cisco:** But I am a bit bummed

 **Sara:** His loss

 **Felicity:** Oh honey  
**Felicity:** He doesn’t deserve you anyway

 **Barry:** It’s true  
**Barry:** You only deserve the best men in the world

 **Iris:** They’re right  
**Iris:** The only person that could deserve you is John Boyega

 **Sara:** Or some other unproblematic hot guy that’s actually decent

 **Cisco:** You guys are too nice  
**Cisco:** Love you all

 **Sara:** We love you too

 **Iris:** <3

 **Ronnie:** Sorry I didn’t get here sooner but both Cait and I love y’all too

 **Cisco:** Wait where were you guys

 **Ronnie:** Uh  
**Ronnie:** At home?

 **Cisco:** OH MY GOD  
**Cisco:** WERE YOU TWO HAVING SEX

 **Ronnie:** … um  
**Ronnie:** No

 **Cisco:** OH MY GOD YOU WERE  
**Cisco:** RONNIE  
**Cisco:** RONNIE RAYMOND  
**Cisco:** MY PARENTS WERE HAVING SEX  
**Cisco:** I’M GONNA NEED MORE THERAPY  
**Cisco:** FINE  
**Cisco:** GET REKT

***

 **Barry:** I have nothing to be afraid of  
**Barry:** Besides it being very dark and I still don’t know what’s behind the creepy tiny door in my bathroom  
**Barry:** And I freaked myself out by looking at the mirror next to my bed for too long  
**Barry:** What if your mirror is trying to kill you

 **Iris:** I’ve always been afraid of that

 **Caitlin:** Your mirror won’t kill you

 **Barry:** You don’t know that

 **Caitlin:** Yes I do

 **Iris:** Aren’t mirrors gateways for evil spirits

 **Caitlin:** No  
**Caitlin:** They can trap spirits in them, but you’d know if there was a ghost in one

 **Barry:** Very scary  
**Barry:** Plus it’s right next to my bed  
**Barry:** Easy decapitation

 **Caitlin:** Oh my god it won’t kill you

 **Barry:** You don’t know everything

 **Iris:** LOL

 **Caitlin:** I know that your mirror isn’t plotting your murder

 **Barry:** But what about the creepy door  
**Barry:** Anything could come out of that

 **Iris:** If nothing’s come out of it by now nothing will

 **Caitlin:** Thank you

 **Barry:** Maybe not…

 **Caitlin:** Go to bed Barry

 **Barry:** Fine…


	11. You? Me? Spaghetti?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco gets frustrated, Sara shows off her weird streak, Ronnie is clueless about art, and Felicity talks dead names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter, all. Hope it satisfies

**Cisco:** I’m at my therapist’s office but I’m not sure if she is?  
**Cisco:** Ahhh

 **Dig:** What?  
**Dig:** How?

 **Cisco:** I’m sitting in the waiting room and she hasn’t opened her door yet  
**Cisco:** I’ve also knocked but no one answered  
**Cisco:** So I don’t think she’s here  
**Cisco:** Now I have to wait for my dad to come get me

 **Dig:** Ah

 **Cisco:** Times like these I wish I had a car

 **Dig:** RIP

***

 **Cisco:** I don’t understand why being called things like nerd and geek and the like are considered insults  
**Cisco:** I find them to be quite the compliment 

**Iris:** Cultural stigma

 **Barry:** Me neither it’s basically just saying you’re good at something or that you’re smart

 **Cisco:** I find our current modern culture to be confusing

 **Barry:** Me too

 **Iris:** When wasn’t it

 **Cisco:** Y’know I’m not sure

 **Barry:** LOL

 **Cisco:** Maybe at the dawn of time  
**Cisco:** When humanity was just begging  
**Cisco:** *beginning

 **Iris:** Both work

 **Cisco:** True

 **Barry:** LOL

***

 **Felicity:** Houston we have a problem  
**Felicity:** I dropped a plate and it broke  
**Felicity:** Like clean in half

 **Sara:** I can see why that’s a problem  
**Sara:** But no one here is named Houston

 **Felicity:** LOL

***

 **Ronnie:** I had an M &M today  
**Ronnie:** I’m happy

 **Caitlin:** A singular M &M?

 **Ronnie:** Yes

 **Caitlin:** Ok then

***

 **Cisco:** So what are we gonna do for Halloween?

 **Barry:** I vote our neighborhood, because A, everyone can get here, B, we can all fit in our living room

 **Linda:** Sara said you guys do a horror movie marathon?

 **Barry:** Correct  
**Barry:** And of course you’re now invited, because you’re part of the group 

**Cisco:** Everyone brings a movie and a snack/candy

 **Linda:** That sounds great! Thanks!

 **Cisco:** Bar I’m down for your place

 **Caitlin:** Is Joe okay with it?

 **Iris:** He already agreed  
**Iris:** He’s working that night  
**Iris:** And Wally and Jesse are going to Jax’s party

 **Caitlin:** Ok. Sounds great then

 **Oliver:** Should I bring anything  
**Oliver:** Special?

 **Barry:** Let’s keep everyone sober this year, sweetheart

 **Oliver:** Fine, ruin my fun  
**Oliver:** Oh hey should we invite Laurel and Tommy?

 **Sara:** Oh yeah she mentioned they didn’t know what they were doing

 **Barry:** Works for me

 **Iris:** The more the merrier  
**Iris:** Just please remind Tommy we’re doing it sober this year

 **Oliver:** On it

 **Cisco:** I’m bringing Hartley if that’s ok

 **Iris:** Defer to my earlier statement

 **Cisco:** Alrighty then

***

 **Linda:** I’m just over here thinking about how I could die from some hereditary thing any minute  
**Linda:** Since I don’t even know if I’m at risk

 **Caitlin:** You could get your genes tested  
**Caitlin:** But I’ve heard things about insurance agencies using those against people so they don’t have to cover them

 **Linda:** True

 **Cisco:** I’ll probably be at risk of that too  
**Cisco:** Since no one in this goddamn family talks to each other

 **Linda:** I’m not alone lol

 **Iris:** It’s like you know everything Caitlin

 **Cisco:** So true lol

 **Linda:** You’re like a walking encyclopedia

 **Caitlin:** You flatter me

 **Iris:** It’s totally true though

 **Linda:** It is

 **Cisco:** I don’t even need to use google

 **Caitlin:** I do not know more than google

 **Cisco:** To be fair I don’t think anyone does

 **Iris:** LOL

***

 **Caitlin:** {Image of a Salvador Dali clock, with caption saying only art students will understand}  
**Caitlin:** It sucks when I see something like this and I’m like who the fuck is Salvador Dali

 **Ronnie:** Same tho

 **Oliver:** Uncultured youth

 **Caitlin:** It turns out he has some cool art  
**Caitlin:** And quite possibly the best mustache ever

 **Ronnie:** Who is he??

 **Oliver:** An artist

 **Ronnie:** Oh

 **Oliver:** Famous for painting melty clocks and having a wild mustache  
**Oliver:** And an armadillo

 **Ronnie:** Huh

 **Caitlin:** {Image of Salvador Dali}

 **Ronnie:** Wow  
**Ronnie:** That is an amazing mustache

***

 **Linda:** So we’re driving past a graveyard and guess what I see  
**Linda:** A headstone reading Deady  
**Linda:** DEADY

 **Ronnie:** LOL  
**Ronnie:** Who misspells dead

***

 **Cisco:** Hartley has agreed to come  
**Cisco:** I brought up his crush and asked how that was going  
**Cisco:** He said he’s actually working up the courage to ask the guy out  
**Cisco:** I’m still trying not to be jealous

 **Barry:** It’s ok to be upset  
**Barry:** You like the guy

 **Cisco:** Thanks

***

 **Cisco:** I am a raisin

 **Caitlin:** The best you can do is be yourself

 **Iris:** At least you’re not one of the people from this story I’m writing  
**Iris:** Because they’re dumb af  
**Iris:** And you my friend, are not

 **Cisco:** Thanks

 **Sara:** You could be a raisinet, but that might not be very happy

 **Cisco:** That sounds pretty good  
**Cisco:** But I don’t like raisins much in the first place

 **Caitlin:** Maybe someday you’ll realize that you’re a chocolate chip, then

 **Sara:** You’re a rainbow chocolate chip

 **Cisco:** That sounds better than an actual chocolate chip  
**Cisco:** And thank you, Cait

 **Caitlin:** Until you realize that, content yourself with the fact that at least you’re not a yogurt covered raisin  
**Caitlin:** Because rainbow is always better

 **Cisco:** It doesn’t matter what it is, it is  
**Cisco:** Rainbow is better  
**Cisco:** And you’re right Caitlin  
**Cisco:** Maybe I’m a skittle  
**Cisco:** Better than a raisin but not as good as a chocolate chip

 **Sara:** Bitch you’re a M &M  
**Sara:** Better than it all  
**Sara:** (I say bitch lovingly)  
**Sara:** (With no intent to offend)

 **Cisco:** LOL

***

 **Sara:** If you could choose any name for yourself, what would it be

 **Barry:** Bert

 **Felicity:** Felicity  
**Felicity:** You?

 **Sara:** Elizabeth.

 **Felicity:** That’s cool  
**Felicity:** Why don’t you change it?

 **Sara:** I’m happy with Sara. It’s come to fit me.  
**Sara:** It’s just interesting to me what other people would choose for their names. They didn’t pick them, their parents did.

 **Felicity:** That’s neat

 **Sara:** At this point, I am Sara and Sara means me. But if I hadn’t grown up with the name and had to choose my own, I don’t think I would choose it.

 **Felicity:** That’s interesting and makes sense

 **Sara:** I think it can tell a lot about a person by what their name would be if they had to name themselves.

 **Felicity:** That’s cool. What can you tell about me?

 **Sara:** I don’t know if I can put it to words  
**Sara:** Did you choose the name Felicity for yourself?

 **Felicity:** I did  
**Felicity:** I mean it would’ve been my name if I had been born a girl but I thought it fit well

 **Barry:** That’s cool  
**Barry:** I don’t remember what I would’ve been named if I had been born a girl

 **Sara:** That’s cool  
**Sara:** My name came from reading movie credits

 **Cisco:** None of you have a name origin as bad as mine

 **Barry:** What’s yours?

 **Cisco:** So my full name, it came from a very special place  
**Cisco:** (Please note the sarcasm)  
**Cisco:** I TOOK IT FROM A GODDAMN FANFIC

 **Sara:** Was it at least a good fanfic?

 **Cisco:** No  
**Cisco:** It wasn’t 

**Felicity:** Oh well. It’s still a great name

 **Cisco:** I’d have to agree  
**Cisco:** And thank you  
**Cisco:** As for my dead name, my mom took it from god knows where  
**Cisco:** We’re not even Greek??

 **Felicity:** My dead name came from a famous author

 **Barry:** Kerouac?

 **Felicity:** Correct

 **Sara:** Names are weird  
**Sara:** We should have food names  
**Sara:** Barry you’re now Spaghetti  
**Sara:** Felicity is Donut  
**Sara:** Cisco shall be called Pizza  
**Sara:** Ronnie is henceforth Rice  & Beans  
**Sara:** Iris you’re going to be Cookie  
**Sara:** Linda you’re Honey  
**Sara:** Dig goes by Sandwich  
**Sara:** Caitlin is Ice Cream  
**Sara:** I’ll be Snickers  
**Sara:** And Oliver, you’re Egg

 **Oliver:** What the fuck Sara


	12. Spooky Scary Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara makes brownies, Dig doesn't meme, Iris is anti edibles, and Cisco gets his happy ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's our ending!

**Cisco:** Happy Halloween!

**Barry:** The witches come today!

**Sara:** TIS THE DEVILS DAY

**Linda:** HUZZAH

**Iris:** Why are all my friends dorks

**Ronnie:** You love us

**Iris:** Sometimes

**Cisco:** Is Eddie coming?

**Iris:** Nah. He’s taking his little sister trick or treating

**Barry:** That’s sweet

**Iris:** Apparently he does it every year

**Ronnie:** It’s true  
 **Ronnie:** I went with him one year when we were kids

**Iris:** Aw

**Sara:** A Good Guy™

**Cisco:** What’s everyone bringing?  
 **Cisco:** Hartley and I’ve got mama’s sopapillas and a bag of dum dums  
 **Cisco:** And So I Married An Axe Murderer

**Sara:** Laurel and I are bringing fudge brownies and the Shining

**Iris:** … 

**Sara:** They’re just brownies I promise

**Iris:** Good

**Ronnie:** I’ve got a bag of snickers/milky ways/twix bars and the Nightmare Before Christmas

**Sara:** That’s not a horror movie tho?

**Ronnie:** Yeah but I figure we should have at least one non-scary alternative

**Cisco:** Oh good idea

**Caitlin:** Fruit salad and Nightmare on Elm Street!

**Barry:** Cait please tell me there’s cantaloup in there

**Caitlin:** There sure is

**Barry:** Amazing

**Oliver:** Tommy and I each have two big bags of fancy Snyder’s pretzels and Friday the 13th

**Ronnie:** Rich people

**Felicity:** I’ve got bagels and cream cheese from Bruegger's and Halloween 1  & 2

**Linda:** Cheese balls and The Tingler yo

**Cisco:** I can’t believe I’m saying this  
 **Cisco:** But what is the tingler?

**Linda:** A 1959 horror flick starring Vincent Price a slightly deranged doctor and the worst special effects ever  
 **Linda:** The monster is visibly on a string

**Cisco:** Huh cool

**Dig:** I’ve got a jumbo bag of reese's/kit kats/crunch bars and another of various m &ms  
 **Dig:** And both Addams Family movies because why not

**Barry:** This is a good haul this year

**Cisco:** Yes it is!  
 **Cisco:** I can’t wait  
 **Cisco:** Should I also bring Hocus Pocus?  
 **Cisco:** Cause also why not

**Linda:** Yes!

**Iris:** Sure

***

**Cisco:** Spooky scary skeletons

**Felicity:** Send shivers down your spine

**Barry:** Shrieking skulls will shock your soul

**Cisco:** Seal your doom tonight

**Linda:** Spooky scary skeletons

**Barry:** Speak with such a screech

**Felicity:** You'll shake and shudder in surprise

**Linda:** When you hear these zombies shriek

**Cisco:** We're so sorry skeletons

**Felicity:** You're so misunderstood

**Barry:** You only want to socialize

**Felicity:** But I don't think we should

**Linda:** Cause spooky scary skeletons

**Cisco:** Shout startling shrill screams

**Barry:** They'll sneak from their sarcophagus

**Linda:** And just won't leave you be!

**Dig:** What the fuck?

**Iris:** It’s not worth knowing trust me

**Dig:** Yeah you’re probably right

***

**Barry:** So we’ll see y’all at ours at 5?

**Felicity:** Yep!

**Caitlin:** Can’t wait

**Oliver:** Seconded

**Dig:** Thirded

**Barry:** Yay!

***

**Cisco:** Hartley says he has something to tell me tonight??  
 **Cisco:** I think it’s about his crush??

**Sara:** Is he gonna do it?

**Ronnie:** I think he might!!

**Cisco:** What?  
 **Cisco:** Who’s gonna what?

**Iris:** We have suspicions

**Cisco:** Of?

**Sara:** Hartley asking you out

**Cisco:** Yeah I doubt that’s going to happen

**Dig:** Patience kiddo

**Cisco:** YOU’RE A YEAR OLDER THAN ME

**Dig:** Oh I know, trust me, I know

**Cisco:** What the hell… 

***

**Dig:** Sara these brownies are heaven

**Sara:** I’m glad they’re up to snuff

**Iris:** Well I’m glad you didn’t lace them with anything

**Sara:** You don’t know that

**Iris:** SARA

**Sara:** I kid I kid

**Iris:** I hate you

**Sara:** You love me

**Iris:** Yeah kinda

**Sara:** Aw I love you too

**Linda:** Ahem

**Sara:** But I love Linda more   
**Sara:** Obviously of course

**Linda:** Much better

***

**Sara:** Someone punch Tommy  
 **Sara:** Get him to stop making out with my sister in front of me

**Oliver:** Fuckin on it

**Sara:** Finally you’re good for something

**Oliver:** OH FOR THE LAST TIME  
 **Oliver:** I did it anyway

**Sara:** Thank god  
 **Sara:** Also who the fuck starts making out with someone in the middle of nightmare on elm??

**Linda:** You’re one to talk miss “Let’s make out during the shining”

**Sara:** Traitor

**Oliver:** HA

***

**Ronnie:** Oliver I must apologize  
 **Ronnie:** These are some good pretzels

**Oliver:** I am vindicated  
 **Oliver:** Also aren’t the honey mustard ones so good??

**Ronnie:** They totally are  
 **Ronnie:** I almost feel bad for making fun of you now  
 **Ronnie:** Almost

**Cisco:** LOL

***

**Linda:** The Babadook is such an icon  
 **Linda:** And he’s like actually an ok gay representation

**Barry:** Unlike Pennywise who is a predator and is only representation of harmful gay stereotypes  
 **Barry:** Also no sane gay would have that wardrobe and makeup  
 **Barry:** Drag queen or not

**Linda:** Right!!  
 **Linda:** All hail the Babadook

**Cisco:** Hail

***

**Cisco:** … Sara you might have been right

**Sara:** HA  
 **Sara:** I fucking told you so

**Cisco:** Yes  
 **Cisco:** Yes you did  
 **Cisco:** And I’m too happy to be mad right now

***

_[Cisco Has Added Hartley Rathaway to Who Talks First]_

**Cisco:** Guys please be nice to my boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that everyone's pretty OOC, most of these convos weren't written with them in mind; they're just taken from my texts.


End file.
